When celebrating Women's History Month, we often forget to celebrate the most important woman in our lives, our mothers.
I was thinking about how much mothers go through and how often their underappreciated. We dedicate one day in May to them, but they dedicate their bodies, time, and entire lives to us. They make so many sacrifices and make so many decisions that a non-mother like me could never fully understand or articulate properly. Because of this, I decided to go to the source.
I reached out to some of the mothers around me to tell me about their experiences and opinions on motherhood. Each mom had a week to fill out a questionnaire on their own time.
Now let's meet the beautiful mothers who decided to participate.
Catalina Alvarez,33 Alexandria Gregory, 23
One kid | 2 years old One kid | 5 years old
Procurement Manager Medical Assistant
Sandra Guallpa, 28 Takiyah Diamond
One kid | 10 years old One kid | 23 years old
Secretary Author, Influencer, Business Life Coach
Judith Chanza, 42 LaShon Gregory
3 kids | 23, 20, 19 years old 5 kids and 1 grandchild |
Dental Assistant 23, 21, 16, 11, 4 and 5 year old grandchild
Homemaker
Maria Alvarez, 60
4 kids and 2 grandchildren |
34, 33, 29, 23 years old and 4, 2 year old grandchildren
Team Lead
Without any real direction, I asked a few questions about motherhood to see what they had to say.
What is the best part about being a mom?
LaShon: The best part about being a mom is having the freedom to be a kid again and relive the adventures of life. As others progress in life and become mature and settle into routines, I have had the pleasure of watching cartoons, playing games, doing artwork, and discovering new things through the eyes of my children.
Catalina - The best part of being a mom is the unconditional love for my daughter, the unbreakable bond between us, her laughter, and smile.
Similar to Catalina, Maria and Judith felt unconditional love is one of the best parts of motherhood. Alexandria, Takiyah, and Sandra felt the best part is watching their child grow and express themselves.
What is the hardest part about being a mom?
Sandra - The hardest part about being a mom is knowing that you never have a break; you have to be there for your child 24/7; it doesn't matter if you are sick or had a bad day; your child needs your attention.
Alexandria - As cliché as it sounds, it's the fear of failure. When she was in utero, she was safe, and I had some control over her level of protection. Once she was born, she was a part of the big, scary world, and even though I try as hard as I can, I cannot protect her from everything.
Catalina - Not having an instruction manual on how to properly raise a human that won't become a menace to society.
Judith - The hardest part about being a mom is it's emotionally draining when they get hurt, and you can't help ease their pain.
LaShon and Maria agreed that it's difficult to determine when to help their children or let them learn and grow. Takiyah felt challenged to find a balance between work and raising her child.
What's a lesson you want to pass on to your child(ren)?
LaShon - How you see yourself is how you will be, so never let the low points define you. Let the fact that you stood back up be the definition of who you are.
Alexandria - Emotional intelligence is very important not only for mental health but to minimize the amount of people that will try to play to your emotions.
Takiyah and Sandra want to ensure their children don't fear being themselves. Judith and Maria emphasized respect and responsibility. Catalina wants to instill accountability into her child.
Is there a moment where you felt you were doing a good job as a mom?
Takiyah - WHAT? Are you kidding me? I always feel like I'm doing a good job as a mom! LOL! OK, so I have many proud moments. One of them that made me most proud, knowing I was doing a great job as a mom, is watching how my son speaks about mental health and how artistic and creative he is with his music.
Maria - Even though I feel like a good mother, I also think I should do more for my kids so I can understand their necessities, frustrations, and stresses. I guide them to the best of my knowledge.
Sandra and Alexandria feel pride in watching their children become independent and aware of the ways of the world. Catalina strives to improve her mothering abilities. Judith loves seeing her kids achieve their goals, and LaShon loves seeing her children's connection with God.
Are there times where you have felt judged for how you raise your child(ren)?
Maria - There are some times that my kids judge my actions, not knowing how much compromise went into it for them. Sometimes my generation's beliefs conflict with theirs.
Alexandria - I feel judged all the time, even when I'm not being judged. Kylie is always watching me. Whenever I feel as though I don't meet my parental expectations, I feel judged and watched by her.
Despite all their hard work, each mother has felt judged at some point, but they each know they are doing their best and try not to let the judgment bother them. Because they constantly go through so much I wondered what they do when they finally have time for themselves
What do you do to relax?
Judith - I like to listen to romantic music, do qigang and thai chi.
Takiyah - When I need to relax, I wind down to high-frequency
meditation music. I listen to things that uplift my soul and help me feel lighter; I take trips away from things.
Each mother looks to the simple things in life to relax, from a hot shower to watching tv or spending time in nature.
These mothers are all different ages, with different experiences, yet they all expressed similar sentiments. Overall, they want the best for their children and to prepare them for the world. They do this in the best way they can, making sacrifices that a non-mother could never truly understand. When asked if they have anything else they would like to say about motherhood, they defined it as challenging but the best gift God could give them. Maria said it best when she said the word mother is very short, but it could never fully describe the compromises and sacrifices a mother makes from pregnancy to the day their child leaves home to become independent.
With that said, call your mom and tell her you love her.
Thank you to everyone who participated. All answers were edited for clarity. Read each mother's complete responses below.